The P.P.B. (Perfect Parent Brigade)

I am currently reviewing a book called Save Our Sleep by an Author called Tizzie Hall...

Tizzie recently referred to us worried parents unhappy with the contradicting somewhat dangerous advice as the Perfect Parent Brigade, hence the title.

This book is a very thought provoking book full of contradictions and advice which conflicts with the World Health Organisation, FSIDS and many others. Its a hard read as there is so much in the book that goes against things I believe in. The book has caused a real stir on the Internet causing people to question her advice and ask authorities for their opinions on the matter. I will go into this in more detail when I write the review but for now, I have other things to blog about in connection with this.

Along with the book comes a mass of followers who will defend Tizzie no matter what even if it means that they are ignoring mass research. If you dare question any of Tizzies 'research' (which is usually just her observations) the fans call you a 'troll' and Tizzie or her admin ban you from the page. Its really very strange, none of her fans seem to question the method and research, a point was raised that breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDS, in answer to that one of Tizzie no.1 fans replied:

"Was it one of their 'studies of 3 babies' articles they cite as 'proof'? Far out - imagine being that hysterical? This kind of scaremongering is what makes us normal passionate breastfeeders look bad."

The article highlighting this risk can be read here so 288 studies - meaning thousands of babies, not 3, quite compelling evidence...


But this was not the 'fan' who riled me enough to write this blog, no it was another who had the audacity to attack a parenting type called ''Attachment Parenting''. Attachment parenting is phrase coined by Dr Sears and according to his website in order to fit in with this method you have to utilise the following tools:

• Birth Bonding
• Breastfeeding
• Babywearing
• Bedding close to baby
• belief in the language value of your baby's cry
• Beware of baby trainers
• Balance (between baby, you & partnership)

Now I am not a traditional 'attachment parent', I do not babywear or co-sleep although I do have a sling, I did not use it very much. However, I take great offense at the following comment from a Tizzie Hall fan:

"This “angry mob” has set women’s lib back 100 years. Whatever happened to a woman’s right to choose? What is right for me, is what is right for my baby. Because quite frankly the dangers of NOT baby training are this:
Being overtired could very well put my child at risk. Research suggests that driving tired is the equivalent of driving drunk at .05.
It also puts me at risk of developing post natal depression in which case I fail to bond with my child and they in return fail to attach.
And I am sure that any woman who ever committed infanticide didn’t have a baby that slept soundly and was content and happy.
But let’s looking at AP in detail. I take no issue with it personally as I have friends who practise it and it works for them. Primarily, the core practises it promotes have been adopted from the parenting practises of women in third world and tribal cultures. I find that to call AP a “parenting choice” is a little insulting to those women. They co-sleep because they don’t live in four bedroom houses. They demand breast feed for as long as possible because they don’t have the financial means to wean their babies. They carry their babies around in slings all day because they have no access to childcare and it is most likely not hygienic enough conditions for them to have their babies crawling around.
I’m sure that if these women were given a choice, they may choose otherwise."

And in case it disappears (as posts on the fanpage often do!)

I will now try to explain why this stupid woman narrow minded, uninformed viewpoint has rattled me enough to write a response. Firstly, I wish to point out, this is not because it affects me directly, in fact almost the opposite, hardly any of this quote effects me but instead a group of amazing parents doing the very best for their children. Lets have a look at the points the lady in question has raised:

''Being overtired could very well put my child at risk. Research suggests that driving tired is the equivalent of driving drunk at .05. It also puts me at risk of developing post natal depression in which case I fail to bond with my child and they in return fail to attach.''

This is provided that attachment parents (AP) are sleep deprived, however, this article and this one suggest that actually if AP you are more likely to be getting more sleep, better quality sleep & be at lower risk of postnatal depression. According to this article and cited research babies with parents practising AP will have a better attachment.

''And I am sure that any woman who ever committed infanticide didn’t have a baby that slept soundly and was content and happy'' 

That comment is completely unfounded and in fact there is lots of factors surrounding this tragic issue and at no where does it state ''not baby training'' in this article. In fact it looks as though being young, poor and unmarried are likely to be higher factors.

''They co-sleep because they don’t live in four bedroom houses.''

There are plenty of advantages to co-sleeping other than 'space-saving'. I do not have a four bedroom house yet I do not co sleep either. Many AP's co-sleep to get more more sleep, others because there is evidence that safe co sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS the benefits are detailed very well here - hmmm..nothing about 4 bedroom houses here...

''They demand breast feed for as long as possible because they don’t have the financial means to wean their babies''

You see I breastfeed on demand. My daughter is 18 months old & I am currently almost 5 months pregnant. I started to breastfeed on demand in the beginning because it aids milk production, babies have small stomachs and breast milk is easily digested meaning they may be hungry again as soon as 90 minutes after the start of their last feed. Feeding little and often is a good lesson for life, as being overfed in infancy can lead to obesity in later life. This is a great article to support cue feeding AKA breastfeeding on demand. I do have the financial means to wean my baby but choose not to. Breast milk is designed to be the normal food for my baby, not cows milk with a load of extra bits added & some taken away. I have nothing against formula feeding, however, breastfeeding provides the best start and nutrition. There are plenty of formula feeding which is plenty enough for me to decide not to wean my daughter prematurely and I am sure that stands for many parents, AP or not.

 ''They carry their babies around in slings all day because they have no access to childcare and it is most likely not hygienic enough conditions for them to have their babies crawling around.''

Baby wearing has significant benefits to mother and baby, such as reduced crying, promotes attachment, increases skin to skin contact and various other reasons detailed here. I will certainly be wearing my next baby far more and would have done my first if I had any idea of some of the benefits, unfortunately I was not very well informed on the subject.

So perhaps some of what Tizzie's fan posted is true for the type of people she is talking about ('' women in third world and tribal cultures'') but just perhaps its more to do with ease, bonding with baby, safer for young and if they did have a choice would they really choose bottles, prams and sleep training if they knew both sides to the argument? If that was really the way babies were intended to be raised then surely evolution would not make us react so badly to babies cries and try to stop them?

Knowledge really is power but some perhaps would prefer to put a method of training above all else...even well researched articles.